Thursday, March 31, 2011

THE HEALER This is for a special friend, but applies to all

Am I not the great Healer
Have I not sent out My Word
To go forth
And preach the Gospel
And heal the sick
Oh, where is your faith
I left you all the tools that you will need
To take you through your life
I have given you life
In an abundance
Yet you flail away
Like a fish out of water
Searching here
Searching there
Looking for the answer
Yet, you by-pass it
As you search the world about
How long must I tolerate
Your searching and searching
When all along
What you seek
Is closer than the breath you breathe
Is closer than the flesh that cloaks you
Seek
You will find
Open up your eyes
Open them I say
For what you seek after
Will be found
It will be found
I say


Gail Adams March 31 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

This was written shortly after my husband started Chemo/Radiation for his cancer of the Lung.

My Anger

What has become of me
Through this dreadful disease
Called Cancer
Where there were times
In days past
That anger and impatience
Slipped from within me
To lash out at those I loved
What is happening to me
To send my love
Off to another room in tears
What have I done to her
And to those around me
Do I want them to feel the pain
That has taken my very being
Do I take pleasure in seeing that they, too, will suffer
I refuse to have what I deemed to be my manhood
Stripped daily away
I no longer feel shame
Or have times of embarrassment
Gone are those days
I feel I have the right to show my anger
I am the one that is suffering
I am the one that this disease has riddled my body
I watch as my loved ones enjoy life.
Able to move swiftly about
Enjoy a good meal
Never seem to tire
While I must sit back
And watch as my life is draining slowly away
Oh that the end will quickly come
I don’t mean to hurt those I love
I am sorry for my times of anger
Sorry for lashing out at you
You are not in my shoes
You have no idea of my thoughts
My heartache
I can only apologize
And hope that you can
See fit to forgive me
For I do love you
And, I always have

Gail Adams Aug. 20/10
LIFE

What is life?
Nothing but mere dust
Gathered from the earth
Formed into man
And breath was blown into this shell
And soul and spirit were placed within this body of dust
By the Almighty God
He allows us to roam this earth
From whence we came
He has given us a period of time
To sow
To water
To reap
Physically and verbally
He allows us to feel love
To see hate
To feel the pain of the death of loved ones
He will take us to the end
And return us to the earth
For others to walk upon us
Our spirit He takes back
Our breath He takes away
Our soul?
Our soul
This body, turns to dust
To blow in the wind
Taking us to places we had dreamed about
To places we feared to tread
This dust, once had breath
Once had life
Once had a soul
Dust. Blowing in the breeze
Going to and fro
Until the end
Until the end
Our soul?
Our soul.


Gail Adams May 15/09
I Hear a Cry

I hear the cry of a father for his children
A cry to sit up--
Take notice.

You see your children now on their own
Sitting back--relaxing
No need of the father’s teaching
No need of discipline
We have matured
What need do we have of our father?

I see you-- the father of your family
Your church family
You see them grow cold
Taking no notice of the wisdom that you give out
We have no need of your wisdom
No need of your love---
So we think

Wise words are from God
We live in a day where only the wise words of the teacher will hold us grounded
Oh children,
Listen to the words
Listen to the teaching
For they are food for your souls
They are given to you because of love
Love of a heavenly Father
Love of a Church father
Oh people
Take heed
For there is passion being passed out to you
The passion of one who loves you so much

We need our father
We need his teachings
We will never be fully matured
Until God takes us home
God has placed our Church father over us
He has placed us in his home
Under his care
He is held responsible for us
As a wayward child goes astray
The parent feels to blame
They felt that perhaps they did not teach what should have been taught
Yet, the child, they have their own will
And God gave us a will
And that will is to love the Father
Listen to His words
And His words are food through our Church father.

Gail Adams 2010
Murky waters This was written the day before the Nuclear disaster in Japan.

Murky waters
Running deep
Covering the land
A floating bottle
A broken branch
Mountains melting
Babies crying
Mothers wailing
Dogs howling
Birds taking flight
Animals scurrying
Humans running
Eyes searching
Darkened skies
A hush across the lands
Silence

Gail Adams March 14 2011
Created Perfect

We were all created perfect
All of us
Who me?
You ask
Yes, you
But I see I am not perfect
I see others who are not perfect
How can this be?
I created all perfect
All
Whose eyes are you looking through
Whose eyes?
Yours
Or
Mine?
Man sees the outside
I see the inside
I have created
All perfect
All
There is nothing
That I did not create
Perfect
Nothing

Gail Adams March 29 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011

Good To Be Found

There is good to be found

In every human being

It will be as panning for pure gold

And

Happy is the man

That discovers it!

Gail Adams March 28 2011
A Speck in the Universe

Are we not a speck
In this vast universe
A mere speck
Taking up a spot
Existing for a moment
In this immense
Period of time
That God has so provided
He gave us life
And a time for everything
Under Him
Through Him
In Him
Are we not part of who
He is
He is the great I am
He is the creator
Of all heaven and earth
We, His creation
Created to please Him
Yet
How often do we please Him
We wander around
Going to and fro
Taking no time to wonder
Why we are here
For what reason
There must be a reason
Oh
To find the reason
This is a gift from God
Himself

Gail Adams March 28 2011
Mankind

What has befallen mankind

What dismay

Where does one run to

What has man done to the earth

That God gave them

What have they done

The skies are falling

The oceans roar

The land shakes

The stars in the heaven drop like leaves

The earth moves off its axis

Rocking to and fro

Oh, what has man done

To the earth that God gave them

To plant and to reap

Oh, man planted and he reaped

But what did he plant

And what now is he reaping

What has man to do to save himself

And his family

What has man to do


Gail Adams March 16 2011
Tears

Can anyone count the tears

That are shed behind closed doors

For a love that is gone

For a hurt that has crushed the heart

Can anyone know what the mind is

What is going through and planting its seed

Can anyone know what creates the deep hurts

That one feels when their love is gone

Perhaps that love has walked away

Or perhaps is lost

But, perhaps death has stepped in

And taken that love away

Does anyone know the emptiness

Does anyone really know the hurt

That one feels when that love has been taken

By death

Oh, to feel the loss of your love to another

Is hurtful

Or for that love to say they don’t love you

What is hurtful

But to lose a love through death

Is a battle that cannot be fought

A battle that you cannot see your enemy

Yet, you know that enemy has taken your love

And you no longer can see that love

That love is gone

Gone to the winds

Gone to the air

Just gone

Just a memory

What can one cling to

When your love has been taken

Can anyone know that deep hurt

The pain and struggles that you feel

Oh the pain

Cuts through you like no other

How long does one feel the loss

Days, weeks, months, years

Does it ever diminish

Oh how death takes its sting

It is the living that feel that sting

Not the dead

The living

They feel this sting, daily, weekly, yearly

And that sting is replaced by loneliness

Gail Adams Feb 6 2011
The Sun

As the sun rises in the east

It brings light to the inhabitants below

And moves slowly from east to west

Passing over

Young lovers walking hand in hand

Some are marrying

Parting

A mother giving birth

Death of a loved one

Happiness

Sadness

Laughter

Children begging

Learning

A thief heading home with his catch

Someone is taking a life

Snuffing it out like a candle

Great men sitting around the table

Planning how to protect their country

Others sit and plan military moves

To grasp what is not theirs

Wars are being fought

Lies are being told

Secrets revealed

Eating

Starving

Running

Walking

If the sun could talk

Reveal its secrets

As is slowly sets in the west

Only to rise again in the east



Gail Adams March 5 2011



.
Cancer

What is this that has taken me so forcibly

Has wrapped its arms and legs around me

And draining me of my strength

My pride

My desires

What has worked its way into my very being

And set up its place of abode

You have taken over this body

That still had dreams

Plans

Desires

You have robbed me

Daily you take of me

My hope dwindles

I question about life

And death

I still had so much to live for

Places to go

Things I wanted to do

You are robbing me of those dreams

Replacing them with your plans for me

Plans that I don't want

Did I open the door to you

Did I make a place for you

And welcomed you into me

No doubt I have

The foolishness of our youth

Captures us

We think we can escape you

But there is no escape

For me now

At one time I could have turned my back to you

Refused you entry

But I never thought I would fall prey

It would always be someone else

That would fall under your spell

I waited too long

To cast you out

Wasted all those years

That have past

And those that could have been

Gone they are now

Too late for me

How dreadful this is

I am not content

Not happy

My God only knows my end

And when

He only knows when my time is up

I could have had so much more

But stubborn I was

Too proud to walk away

And now I will answer for my stubbornness

And will have to accept what has befallen me

Daily I watch as my body is gathered up into its web

Like a spider taking over its prey

Slowly wrapping its web over and under

Until it has completely consumed its target

And this I have no choice but to wait



Gail Adams Aug. 15/10

.
Poem I wrote while watching Bud, (my husband who was dying of cancer) out on the deck listening to the teens next door in the pool
.by Gail Holditch Adams on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 5:28pm.

Youthful Laughter

I hear the sound of laughter around me

Coming from neighbouring yards

Youth, in their slot in life

Enjoying the sun

The vigour

The passion

That comes with their time in life

I felt it too

I had those feelings

Of passion

Of love

Of frolicking in the sun

Of dancing under the stars

Of feeling the warmth of the opposite sex

My time here on earth is dwindling away

My life being erased by a giant eraser

Slowly rubbing me out

I no longer dwell on those things of youth

I no longer feel the passion I once felt

My heart turns to stone

My eyes are dim

My hearing gone

Where has my time gone here on earth

Have I wasted what was given to me

Have I abused the time I had

No longer can I just go back

Start all over again

I hurt

For those around me

For myself

My thoughts stream back

Like rushing waters

Flooding me

Washing me over and over again

I try to re-capture that feeling of youth

Try to remember back to my time when all things were right

God has placed a marker on me

A time for me to go

Like everyone before me

And after me

The time will come

The bell will toll

Calling me home

Home

Where my memories will fade

My hurts will disappear

A new life will form within me

Taking over this sick old body

Again, youthfulness will ever be present

No longer will pain and misery flood my very being

For we are just passing through earth

Dwelling only for a minute or two

A time to make the most of what was dealt to us

Yet, we all take life for granted

Another day will dawn

A time to make up

To apologize

To ask for forgiveness

We put it off planning on tomorrow

Tomorrow I will do it

Then before you know it, time has slipped away

Leaving a shell of a body

No longer caring to apologize

To ask for forgiveness

To tell someone that you love them

To hold their hand

To hold them tight

And everything will be alright

We try to remember back to our youth

Through the laughter that permeates my very being

My youth has slipped away

So quickly it has been taken

My life ahead is what I shall dwell on

A new life that will unfold as it should

And I will dance upon the skies

And everything will be alright.



Gail Adams Aug. 3 2010



.
This shell of skin

God so graciously gave me this shell
That I may dwell in all my days on earth
It encases me
Makes me different than anyone else
Each has their own identity
This coat of skin I wear
Over me
Shelters me
I wear this coat all my life
As I grow, so does my coat
Stretching
Shrinking
Aging
But, I am inside
The real me
The one that allows me to breathe
Eat
Smell
Feel
I have a spirit
And a soul
My soul
Allowing me desires
Emotions
Passion
Decisions
Oh, where will my soul go
When it leaves this coat of flesh
Where will it go
My spirit returns to God
My flesh to dust
But, my soul
My soul


Gail Adams March 24th 2011
This Earth

What is pouring down on us
Upon this earth
Which was made so perfect
Ashes and rock
Pouring down
Upon the earth
What has happened
To bring all this about
What has man done
To the earth that
God so gave him
To nourish
To plant
To harvest
What has man done
That brought all this about
We seek
And
We search
Out the answers
Can anyone know
Can anything be done
Before it is too late
We have become a people of technology
A people with much wisdom
A people too clever for their own good
We know it all
We think
Yet, all is crumbling
Before our very eyes
Crumbling
Ashes and rock
Ashes and rock


Gail Adams March 25th 2011
This Classroom of Life
 


Our classroom
Earth
We enter
As a new-born
Being taught
From our first breath
By
Our greatest of teachers
Our parents
As we leave the baby stage
We enter another grade in this most
Wonderful school
Called life
We learn
From those with more knowledge
We learn
From our disappointments
And our achievements
And our friends
Class after class
Then
We learn again
When
We enter the class
Of
Being on our own
We continue to take lessons
From
Those that cross our paths
Those we become greater
Than friends with
Then another great lesson
The mating with another
And see the most
Wonderful
Product ever to
Come forth
Our learning is never ended
We never stop learning
Never stop taking lessons
And
Courses
Until we graduate
From this most
Unusual academy
Called life
Our lessons now complete
No more to learn of
Here

Gail Adams March 24th 2011
Those that cross my Path

We have those that come into our life
And quickly pass
Some who stop for a moment and rest
Then there are those who slow down enough to leave an impression
And then there are those that come and leave a mark
With each one that crosses my path
They become a part of who I am
Part of my makeup
Part of my being
One day, I will cast off this garment
That has closely covered me
And I will step forth
Into a glorious light
No more will I remember the number
Of those that passed
Of those that left their mark
No more will I carry a part of them
No more will they enter my mind
For I have moved on
And only God knows
He is what guides me
He is the One I serve
So to those that have made a difference in me
And left their mark
Do not worry
For you have entered into me
If not by flesh
But by spirit
And if good or bad
You have made a difference in who I am
I am who I am
God's child


Gail Adams March 24th 2011
At times
I am
Like
a
Submarine ship
Lying
at the bottom
Of
The
Ocean

Gail Adams March 27 2011



Feelings
Transcend
Time
And
Distance

Gail Adams March 27 2011




Not
all
memories
Fade

Gail Adams March 27 2011
Who Am I

I am the wind and the rain
The sun and the moon
The stars in the heavens
And the air I breathe
I am the soil I walk on
And the waters that flow
I am the greatest mountain
And the smallest stone
I am the five senses
This is what I am

Gail Adams March 20 2011